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Joke of the Day

"What do a tornado and a redneck wedding have in common? Either way you lose a motorhome."

"So I decided to be a nude model for a local art class... they didn't ask me to do it, and I am starting to get weird looks."

"A Priest, a rapist and a pedophile walk into a bar... he orders a drink."

"When I have more than $20 in my account at the end of the month I have to wonder what bill I forgot to pay."

"Blowing your load on a girl counts as a baby shower right ?"

"My mum's bf hates when I shorten his name to 'Dick'. Mainly because his name is Matthew."

"I went to the School of Engineering formal this weekend. Walked up to a girl... ""Are you a civil engineer... cause DAM GIRL!"" she went home with me..."

"I was going to invest in the Microsoft HoloLens but... ...Their projections weren't very good."

"Ted said to his friend 'can you lend me $10?' 'But I only have $8' his friend replied. That's OK you can always owe me the other $2!"

"I once went to a blonde psychiatrist She blew my mind."