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Joke of the Day

"My first name is not Damn Signed, Autocorrect"

"Best amputation jokes? Friend has bone cancer, may be getting an arm amputated. We have run ""I'd give my left arm"" and ""Single-handedly"" puns into the ground, and we need more amputation jokes."

"*Secretly duct-tapes boomerang to the back of his car* Him: *Drives away* Me: *whispers* ""yeah, you'll be back."""

"TIFU side down while on vacation in Australia. Oops - wrong sub..."

"Half the time I hug anyone I'm just wiping my hands off on their back."

"The Vatican just deleted all the Pope's tweets. Because NO ONE denies reality like the Catholic Church."

"My Thai girlfriend says penis size shouldn't matter in a healthy and loving relationship. I still wish she didn't have one."

"He died doing what he loved: checking to see if wolves are ticklish."

"What happened to the octopus in the football game? He had tentackles."

"Grrr why is it so hard to get a qsn stick in the right way! Dammit I mean a usb stick."