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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever heard about Mothers Against Drunk Driving's lesser known sister organization ""Fathers Against Drunk Driving""? Probably not, it didn't last very long, it was only a fad."

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"If babies knew how shitty life gets they wouldn't be giggling so much. Ignorant little bastards."
"Vending machines are so homophobic Like, I'm sorry my dollar bill wasn't straight enough for you."
"10 Seldom-Used Batteries that Might be Depleted... #7 will shock you!"
"What is easy to register for, but something you never want? Sex offender."
"My girlfriend is due in two weeks. I can't wait til she's born."
"What's long, stiff and full of se(a)men? Maddie McCan"
"The worst thing about dating is bringing a nice guy home after dinner, only to find your husband home early from work."
"If it wasn't for venetian blinds.... It'd be curtains for all of us."
"I like playing chess with bald men in the park... although its hard to find 32 of them."