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Joke of the Day

"The worst thing about dating is bringing a nice guy home after dinner, only to find your husband home early from work."

"What's the downside to bigamy? More than one mother-in-law."

"I met a girl in a bar last night and she said she wanted the night to be magical.... So I fucked her and disappeared."

"Here's two short jokes and a long joke: joke. joke. joooooooke."

"what do you call a high Rowan Atkinson? Baked bean."

"If girls didn't exist... ... then life would be a real pain in the ass."

"She left me 'cause of my obsession with double negatives. Guess she ain't never coming back."

"Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL? Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange."

"Abortion, just brings out the kid in you."

"Which is the worst career choice? Dentistry in Britain? Nutritionist in the Midwest? North Pole stripper during an antifreeze shortage?"