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Joke of the Day

"""If your father asks you to pick up 5 large bags of ice, the best place to put them is in the backyard in direct sun"" ~My son apparently"

"A man had sex with a baby horse [nsfw] He was clearly into pedo-filly-a"

"I saw a fight between a group of Gay guys.... Blows were exchanged."

"[enter password] *Correct* [your password is incorrect] Me: ahh that's right *incorrect* Login Successful"

"""Can I pet your dog?"" ""Sure, but he can be aggressive."" [He pushes a pamphlet about the dangers of gluten towards me with his nose]"

"Before you wreckyourselfvakia Czechoslovakia"

"It was a pain to clean up after carrying out my fetish for the first time. But its definitely a load off my chest."

"Stay out of my dreams if you're not going to be there when I open my eyes"

"""There's plenty of fish in the sea"" is just something people say because you're going to be alone. Fishing is something you can do alone."

"How do you pick up a fat chick? Piece of cake."