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Joke of the Day

"What did the mayonnaise say to the refridgerator? Close the door, I'm dressing!"

"What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre."

"directions on frozen food need to be more confident. They're like, '11 minutes at 450... but all ovens are different... I'm so stupid.'"

"The baby gets furious when I try to undress him. He gets that from his mother."

"Say what you want about paedophiles... ... at least they drive slowly through school zones."

"What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor? Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too."

"Why couldn't the pickle leave the bar? Because the door was ajar!"

"I didnt know what to wear to my first meeting of the premature ejaculation society.... ...so i came in my pants."

"Drugs, is not the answer unless the question is why are you eating spaghetti with your hands."

"Where can you find a paraplegic man? Right where you left him."