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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Dadaists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: A penguin"

"The human brain is an amazing organ. It keeps working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 52 weeks a year, from before you leave the womb, right up until you find religion."

"Might stand on a construction site looking at blue prints today and see what happens."

"""Dark Side Tech Support."" ""Hi. My hand lightning won't work. The hate's flowing thru me, but nada."" ""Try turning the hate off & on again."""

"[NSFW] The worst part about kissing my wife after a blowjob... Is wondering if she can taste the other guy's dick."

"Why isn't Luke on the poster for The Force Awakens? He's a bit Shywalker. I'm so, so sorry everyone."

"You know what I love about world history? ... It's a long story"

"I have decided I will never get down to my original weight. Besides 7.5 pounds is unrealistic anyway."

"If you're afraid of public speaking, just imagine everyone in the audience is on their phones not listening to you anyway."

"So a woman was facing a judge in court... She was on trial for beating her husband with his guitar collection. The judge then says ""First offender?"" She says ""No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"""