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Joke of the Day

"I don't have a girlfriend. I just know someone who would be very angry if she heard that."

"I would settle for life handing me anything citrus right now."

"Why are eggs so good at humor? Because they have running yolks."

"Where do Irish people go for breakfast? Drunkin Donuts"

"I fell off a 40 foot ladder Luckily it was the first step"

"Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN? A: Because she didn't know which one came first!"

"How do you catch a fish with peas? Drop some peas along the shore, and when a fish comes up to take a pea, you grab him."

"What's the difference... What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with a bra? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."

"I'm not saying I've got a girl crush on you, I'm just saying lesbiadorable together."

"A surprise Hunger Games competition for everyone who makes eye contact with me today in the office."