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Joke of the Day
"What does a blonde playing the drums sound like? Dumb chick dumb chick dumb chick..."
Next Joke
"I got a ticket for bandaging a cat's broken tail A cop pulled up and gave me a ticket for retailing pussy in a residential area"
"I love hillary Clinton so much. It makes me weak at the knees."
"What were the 2 doctors who worked with Schrodinger called? A *paradox.*"
"What gun does Jesus hate the most? The nail gun. So sorry if this offends you Credit to the /r/pka podcast"
"My grandfather has the heart of a lion... ...and a lifetime ban from the local zoo."
"""you look good have you been working out"" [me thinking about earlier when i taekwondo kicked a birdbath like 7 times til it fell over] Yeah"
"People are like traffic lights You have to judge them by colour"
"Not being able to read because your book ran out of batteries is a pretty hilarious first-world problem."
"I was confused when my wife asked me what I spent $108 on at the liquor store. I answered ""liquor?"" All is not a trick question. Apparently"