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Joke of the Day
"I find it insulting that Arby's mascot isn't a pirate bee."
Next Joke
"Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures. Patient: Okay doc but don't forget to send your bill to the other man."
"a tv show where a group of friends just text each other but never hang out"
"Not sure which is worse, the CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch saying he doesn't want ugly people wearing his clothes or that people still wear A&F"
"What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick."
"What do 9/10 people love? Gangrape."
"Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork. Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch!"
"After all these years, I can tell my wife still cares for me... Whenever she has an orgasm, she calls to let me know."
"If your name is Susan, I surmise you're lazy. If your name is Tom, I posit you're a peeper. If your name is Jason, I automatically assume... YOU'RE A CUNT!!! NO! SERIOUSLY, FUCK YOU, JASON!!!"
"Masturbation Just got back from competing in the Blindfolded Masturbation World Championship No idea where I came."