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Joke of the Day

"a tv show where a group of friends just text each other but never hang out"

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"A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure."
"On the bright side you only need one more brain cell and you could pass as a plant"
"Did you hear about the Hollywood actress that got murdered...? Person 1: Her name was Reese, errr, Reese, Reese whatshername... Person 2: Witherspoon? Person 1: No, with a knife."
"Have you ever seen a duchess? Yes - it's the same as an English ""s"""
"Which horse runs the city? The mare, of course"
"Why was Cleopatra so negative? Because she was queen of denial."
"What's the number for Baltimore chiropractic services? 9-1-1"
"What's the difference between my dick and my jokes? My girlfriend never laughs at my jokes"
"Don't worry about choosing between a job you love & one that pays money because you won't be able to find either"