169782

Joke of the Day

"Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork. Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch!"

Next Joke
 
"How do philosophers shave off their beards? Occam's razor"
"Why did the scarecrow win the nobel peace prize? Because he was outstanding in his field!"
"Why are camels known as ships of the desert? ... Because they are full of Arab semen."
"My mother always says make the little things in life count. Tomorrow I'm gonna run free math seminars for midgets"
"Fastest way to occupy bored kids is to announce we are going to clean Voila Suddenly they all remember plans they've forgotten Ah quiet"
"Him: Productive conference call? Me: Hell yeah. I painted my toes, posted 6 pictures on IG, and got in one solid nap."
"I can ignore you so hard you will begin to doubt your own existence."
"""Are you working right now? Where are you working?"" Facebook is worse than my parents."
"There's a support group for burned-out hacker/activists who want to give up the habit. It's called Anonymous Anonymous."