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Joke of the Day

"My biggest fear is that I have already discovered time travel and I will bump into myself and spoil the surprise."

"Nostradamus comes home and starts beating his dog Why are you going to shit here in the next 5 minutes? Because of the beating, you dickwad!"

"Everyone knows someone in real life that actually resembles a garden gnome."

"I saw this post by a pizza boy. OP delivers."

"The Bible says Jesus used a whip to drive out the money lenders... I wonder if they called it his ""Miracle Whip""?"

"I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit but it wouldn't matter."

"Why are Asian students so smart? Because they keep trying to take Engrish classes but end up in Engineering."

"If women had to cum to make a baby , I'd never wear a condom! That on original . Your welcome"

"I really want to see that movie about Tom Cruise But I don't think it's ever gonna come out"

"A Conductor ... What do you call a part time conductor ?? . . . a *semiconductor*"