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Joke of the Day

"My biggest fear is that I have already discovered time travel and I will bump into myself and spoil the surprise."

"Lawyer Joke You know it was a cold day in Washington when you see lawyers walking around with their hands in their own pockets."

"Which country has the nicest children? Germany. German children are kinder."

"Why did the Chicken cross the Basketball Court? Because he heard the Ref was Blowing Fowls."

"Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent? The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!"

"I just saw three dudes wearing denim shirts with denim jeans. Who's responsible for this shit? Canada? Was it you, Canada?"

"What's pun plus pun? Poo"

"How long does 8 sleep for? Forever."

"[dropping kids off at school] ME: Ok, learn a lot today KIDS: But school doesn't start for another week ME: *speeding off* GOOD LUCK"

"ME: I fell off a 50 ft tall ladder once GIRL: holy cow how did you survive ME: I fell off the bottom rung"