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Joke of the Day
"R.I.P. the phrase ""I don't have an opinion on it."" Born 1550 - Died 2014"
Next Joke
"THREE LAWS OF SCIENCE: 1. IF IT SMELLS BAD IT'S CHEMISTRY 2. IF ITS MUSHY IT'S BIOLOGY 3.IF IT DOESNT WORK ITS PHYSICS"
"I think if I was brutally ass raped by a unicorn, it would be of little consolation that they are fictional."
"Lunch. Meeting. Sure, let's ruin both at once."
"Dear Ninja Turtles, Why are you wearing masks? There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you."
"Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments."
"The President gets an Escort..."
"I don't wish anybody dead, but a well placed nasty rash on you would kind of make my day."
"Why can't John complete a workout? He tried, but it didn't work out."
"Two gold fish are sitting in a tank... Two gold fish are sitting in a tank. One gold fish looks at the other and says: ""Hey man, how the hell do you drive this thing?"""