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Joke of the Day
"Why did the man have to sell his hospice? It was a dying business."
Next Joke
"The key to a long relationship: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty."
"I do not delete bad tweets that get no stars... I let them sit there and think about what they've done..."
"If only Steve Irwin wore sun screen. He could have been protected from harmful rays."
"How to make a woman crazy in two steps: 1. Take a picture of her 2. Don't show her the picture"
"Wife: He only hears what he wants to hear... Therapist: Is this true? Me: She's right. Space Jam is the greatest movie of all time."
"When you're in trouble at work, be frank... That way, when the boss finds out, Frank gets the blame."
"So I realized I have all these great stories, but far too few end with ""And then I fucked her...."" So anyways I was babysitting my little sister last night...."
"How many absurdists does it take to change a lightbulb? Yarn."
"Why don't Asians make good Knights? Because then there would be a chink in the armor."