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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the grounds of a university that specializes in teaching neuroscience to hippopotamuses? Hippocampus!"

"The Binding Of Isaac Movie Just imagine The Binding Of Isaac Movie. He will find a Brimstone, Spoon Bender and Holy Mantle . It will be a pretty short movie I guess."

"*puts on headphones *cranks ""Eye of the Tiger"" *downs energy drink *laces up Nikes *runs out into 13 weather *runs back inside *Naps"

"[in basement lab] wife: you cant just make your own honey me: (mouth dry, spitting pollen everywhere) I know that now Lisa."

"will somebody tell my friend its spelled ""gif"" not ""gf"" and its not special that he has one, i have like 400 on my computer"

"What do you do if life gives you melons? You're dyslexic."

"What doesn't kill you isn't earning the money I paid."

"What do space aliens put on their windows? Venutian blinds."

"Wanted to tweet ""I'm hella tired"" but my phone keeps autocorrecting ""hella"" to ""REALLY? HELLA? YOU ARE A GROWN-ASS LADY, KNOCK IT OFF."""

"What do you call a dinosaur that rapes? A sexual predator."