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Joke of the Day

"I can't believe the fired me at the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in."

"Parallel parking reality show. Get on that."

"Considering we've produced Miley Cyrus and Kanye West, I'm more surprised other countries haven't built a wall around the U.S."

"Why was the guitar teacher arrested? Because he fingered a minor."

"Two office workers are chatting by the water cooler ""I has a nice quiet dinner with the wife last night"" one says. ""Oh yeah?"" The other responds. ""Yeah, except for the celery."""

"If there's one thing my English major girlfriend has taught me, It's what a colon does."

"I just went to jail for my wife's crime. She's Chinese, which I guess makes me guilty by associasian."

"Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums."

"Why was the lawyer home early? Briefcase"

"what do u call a tilt-a-whirl operator with a sunburn? carne asada"