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Joke of the Day

"I just went to jail for my wife's crime. She's Chinese, which I guess makes me guilty by associasian."

"I'm never drinking & driving again because the last time, it was a disaster. I lost control and ended up driving to a Robin Thicke concert."

"Whats the best part of fuckin a pregnant woman? you get a handjob at the same time"

"Why did Sarah fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms. Knock-knock! ""Who's there?"" Not Sarah."

"Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet Not yet OK! EAT ME NOW Oh! Too late Bananas"

"I'm selling a WWII relic.... A beautiful French rifle. It's never been fired and only dropped once."

"What do you call a group of rabbits walking backwards? a receding hare line"

"I am not racist ... My shadow is black."

"My wife got mad at me for starting another British TV series... I said, ""don't worry, it'll be over soon."""

"Hillary: After Benghazi Hearing I ""Sat Around Eating Indian Food And Drinking Wine And Beer"" Christie: ""Just another Tuesday morning for me."""