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Joke of the Day
"Don't mess around with asexuals They don't fuck around."
Next Joke
"My kids have strategically placed items in an overflowing garbage can like they're building a Jenga puzzle. Have kids. It's fun."
"What's a nanny's favorite letter? I don't know, but it's not E."
"What do vegan zombies eat? Grraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnssssssssssssssss"
"what's food backwards? vomit"
"A German installs a bath around his table Badumtisch"
"I'm selling my vacuum cleaner It's just collecting dust. I'll show myself out"
"What country does fried fish swim in? Greece! (courtesy of my ten year old)"
"Procrastination is like masturbation... ... it feels good while you're doing it, but you're only fucking yourself."
"Wife: you're drunk Me: no'm not Wife: I'M JUST A POOR BOY NOBODY LOVES ME Me: HE JURSTA PRO BROY FUMMA FLOOR FLAMLEE Wife: Me: ok lil bit"