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Joke of the Day

"Pulitzer Prize-winner Lois Lane, I want you to meet your new reporting partner, this mysterious stranger who has never held a job before."

"My girlfriend likes to call my dick ""The Cannon"" because it has a short fuse and only one ball."

"Why do men struggle to urinate with an erection? It's just too hard."

"Wish I had the unbridled enthusiasm of a freshly groomed dog heading straight for a mud puddle."

"What did grandpa say before he kicked the bucket? How far do you think i can kick this bucket? Also, Why did the chicken cross the road? [He was in the bucket](/spoiler)"

"What's the difference between a tribe of pygmy cannibals and the girls cross country team? The pygmy cannibals are cunning runts."

"Didja hear that Israel's Chief Rabbi has told Israeli LGBT's that they will no longer be allowed to speak Hebrew ... wait for it ... Yeah - they're gonna have to speak Shebru instead ..."

"If you had your social security number in exact dollars how much money would you have? I'd have 314,159,265"

"Shame about Amanda Todd, killed by dyslexia. The label on the bleach said ""seek attention if ingested"", not ""seek attention and ingest""."

"A relationship with me is like a rollercoaster It has a weight limit"