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Joke of the Day

"Mitt Romney's Presidency."

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"I would lose weight ... But I hate losing ..."
"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Ones a goodyear and the others a great year."
"CROSS THE ROAD... MONKEY Q: Why did the monkey cross the road? A: So he could get spanked."
"I'm not religious until you need help moving on a Sunday."
"Two jokes walk into a bar... Where's the punchline?"
"Have you worked at McDonalds? I have. I got fired not long ago. My boss was a clown."
"Q: What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming up over the hill while wearing sunglasses? A: Nothing. He did not recognize them."
"Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you."
"Alaskan said to Texan: Stop bragging.... ...about how big your state is, or we'll divide Alaska in half and make you the third largest state."