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Joke of the Day
"What bird can write underwater? A ball-point Penguin!"
Next Joke
"I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th... Because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons."
"When people ask, ""Don't I know you from somewhere?"", I reply ""Yes, we were best friends as children until you murdered my puppy."""
"My friend David lost his ID... Now we just call him Dave."
"FUN FACT: If every human on Earth was laid out end to end... ...there would be no one left to measure how far it went.   ^^credit ^^to ^^@meganamram ^^on ^^Twitter"
"China lands on the moon! Salvages antique U.S. flag"
"If there's a denim jacket on my doorknob it means I'm having sex with a werewolf."
"Girls at parties are like parking spaces, if you're late all the good ones are gone, So when nobody's looking you stick it in the disabled one...."
"What do you call a Mexican whose lost his car? Carlos"
"My dad went to Vietnam He single-handedly shot and killed 32 north vietnamese. Next year we're going on vacation somewhere else. Edit: spelling"