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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a Mexican whose lost his car? Carlos"
Next Joke
"Can't wait to walk down the aisle. The frozen food aisle. Marry me, ice cream."
"Why did the computer programmer put up his Christmas lights on Halloween? He always gets DEC 25 and OCT 31 confused."
"You can never tell when someone's had plastic surgery. It always looks super real & not weird or awful. You should get some."
"I spent all night wondering where the sun went, but then it dawned on me..."
"Bon Iver just walked into my Starbucks. Wait nope just a super sad cat."
"I would most likely die like 45 minutes into a zombie apocalypse, and even more likely it would not be zombie apocalypse related."
"I lost ten pounds! Learn my hot diet secret! (I replaced booze with pot)"
"My family doesn't have a swear jar, but we do have a totes perf jar. If you say totes or perf, we throw a jar at you"
"I lost 140 unwanted, useless, life-sucking pounds - in only 6 weeks! I got a divorce."