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Joke of the Day

"I'm never buying a fish fryer from Linkin Park ever again. I fried so hard, and got sole far, but in the end it doesn't even batter!"

"Why does Bill Clinton prefer B.J.s? Because he hates Costco."

"To the person that stole my copy of Microsoft Office... I will find you. You have my Word."

"[wife gets in the car after talking with the priest] ""What did the priest have to say?"" ""He said you have to stop rapping over the choir."""

"A hug is basically a mini hostage situation."

"Hm. Not sure whether to scold my son for chasing the cat or thank the cat for excersizing my son..."

"What do you call a Muslim who's always late for everything? 9/12"

"You know what they say when you go black.... ....you're raising that kid by yourself."

"What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese man on the telephone. Wing wing, halo?"

"How many Tourette's suffers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Ass fucking cunt bitch just one cocksucker whore"