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Joke of the Day

"What does Moses do when he wants a beer? He brews!"

"I just hired a private investigator to find out what I do all day."

"What's so good about an Ethiopian blow-job? You know she'll swallow."

"How did little Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis."

"INTERVIEWER: How would you define yourself? ME: *don't let her know you're a delicious chocolate cake* Moist"

"My dog ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles and now I gotta follow him around the yard because it's his turn"

"What's the difference between a piano,tuna and glue. You can tune a piano. You cant piano a tuna."

"You know you're on Twitter too much when you start learning the news from the jokes."

"You have no idea how funny I am to me."

"I got kicked out of the army yesterday. They called it a dishonorable discharge.... ....i call it jizzing over the generals face whilst he was asleep."