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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend and I finally decided to try out role-play in the bedroom. I dressed up like Luke Skywalker And she pretended to be a dead fish."

"People keep pushing me around and calling me lazy... I don't care what they say though this wheelchair is the best thing I ever bought!"

"Yesterday my girlfriend started to smoke... So I slowed down and added some lube."

"I can never understand why people act surprised when horrible things happen. Where have you been since birth?"

"What is Hitler's favorite video game? Mein Craft."

"So, I have a black girlfriend now Burnt the shit out of my hand on the stove..."

"Did you know that no Pokemon is born racist, they have to be taught that [whispers to Pikachu] grass types are lazy"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? [NSFW] I wouldn't pay five hundred dollars to have a lentil on my face."

"How do Reavers clean their spears? They run them through the Wash. (In honor of the late Shepard Book. RIP)"

"I'M RAGING AGAINST THE MACHINE! Okay, I'm just frustrated with this copier, but I sighed pretty loud, so I think it knows how I feel!"