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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book... Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost me a fortune in stamps."

"What did the doctor say to the midget waiting in the lobby? You're just going to have to be a little patient."

"One man went to Reddit assuming it as a hotel One man went to reddit assuming it as a hotel and asked: what to eat ? Admin Replayed: Subreddit and guidelines Man: Give me one plate each HA Ha Ha"

"*stops walking* Wait, I think there's a stone in my shoe *takes off shoe, shakes it upside down* *Mick Jagger hits the ground with a thud*"

"These dishwashers are getting too expensive my new one even demands a diamond ring"

"You're more useless than a..."

"What did one tree say to the other? Nothing. They bark."

"In my spare time, I help blind kids I mean the verb, not the adjective"

"Why did the illegal latinos all fail their English classes? They didn't turn in their eses."

"I called a suicide prevention line. It connected me to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I felt suicidal and they asked if I could drive a truck."