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Joke of the Day
"How does a football player make phone calls? On a touch-down phone."
Next Joke
"How does Soylent Green taste? It varies from person to person."
"New Year's is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don't want you reusing last year's calendar."
"Bears can swim, climb trees, and open doors. Why aren't there ""BEWARE OF BEARS"" signs posted fucking everywhere?!"
"I used to think I was into necrophilia, sadism, and bestiality... once I tried it, I realised I was just beating a dead horse."
"What's the hardest object in a kids playground? My penis."
"4 stages of life 1. You believe in Santa 2. You don t believe in Santa 3. You are Santa 4. You look like Santa"
"I went to a place to buy some weed, turns out they didn't have any but they sold some shoes... I don't know what those things were laced with but I was tripping all over the place."
"What happens to a legend's career when he loses his leg? It ends."
"Just saw a Fiat 500 smash into a Smart Car on I-95. Cutest. Thing. Ever."