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Joke of the Day

"What's the hardest object in a kids playground? My penis."

"This years Olympics in Rio is going to be one of the most steady and relaxing Games in history No one will be Russian."

"Me: One day I took my friend- Him: Wait, you have a friend? Me: Yes Him: Wow, ok, go on Me: So I took my friend to the vet for her shots and"

"Why does Mommy always say no? Well Son, if Mommy said yes all the time you'd have 20 more siblings."

"What's the difference between James Dean and Jimmy Dean? Jimmy Dean is sausage in the skillet, James Dean was hamburger on the road."

"What's a bear's favorite fruit? Tom**ato**(**ms**). Explanation: Bears are made up of atoms. Plug: /r/BearJokes"

"Why did Donald Trump defend the size of his dick? Cuz he's gonna use it to fuck the Republican party."

"Ripped a mole off my face today... Gotta stop looking down gopher holes..."

"Lance Armstrong should be applauded for being able to ride a bike so well on drugs. I tried it once. Hit a dog and fell into the canal."

"If a woman wears a ponytail holder on her wrist at all times that means she's always down to pull her hair back and fight you."