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Joke of the Day

"I'm not poor. I'm big-loaned."

"The barman says, ""We don't serve time travellers in here."" A time traveller walks into a bar."

"I listen to your prayers, but only to correct their grammar."

"Only in America do we chain $2.00 ink pens to the counter but leave our $58000 cars out in the driveway."

"I was arrested for having sex with a 15 year old girl... I dunno, I thought she was older than that. I guess that makes two reasons why I'm a bad father."

"What do you call a women with one leg? Aileen Unless she's Asian, then you call her Irene."

"""I really wish I could squeeze that piano over and over"" - guy who invented the accordion"

"Dream carefully, because dreams come true."

"There's only one thing I remember from sexual harassment training. ""Harass"" is just one word."

"*gets into any creepy van* *Gets kicked out*"