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Joke of the Day
"The barman says, ""We don't serve time travellers in here."" A time traveller walks into a bar."
Next Joke
"[at my date's front door] wait, so you've known i was a koala the whole time? ""yeah"" [me clinging to her arm slowly eating a leaf] how tho?"
"*For Harry Potter fans* What language do UPS men at Hogwarts speak? Parcel-tongue"
"What do amputees and cricket have in common? Stumps"
"What's the difference in red and purple...? ... How hard you squeeze it."
"[Arrives at work dressed as a sexy kitty] Boss: *points to memo on desk* ""It says no Halloween costumes"" Me: *slowly pushes memo off desk*"
"What's the difference between eating pussy and driving in the fog?... At least when your eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you!"
"""Naps ain't shit!"" -Comas"
"Who would win in a fight between John Cena and Chuck Norris? Depends on who wrote the script."
"How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb? None they just have a nursing assistant do it. As much as the doctor orders."