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Joke of the Day
"Which side of the plate does the phone go on?"
Next Joke
"""She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts."" -Romans 1:15"
"HER: I'm ending this ME: why? HER: you're way too literal ME: I promise I can change HER: prove it ME: *puts on a different shirt*"
"Q: How many Hillary Clintons does it take to change a light bulb? A: One--she just holds the bulb and the world revolves around her."
"What do you call 13 dwarves and a hobbit inside a mountain? A *smaugasbord*."
"Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion."
"People on Tumblr have PTSD Potty Trained and Socially Disordered"
"I told my wife she would look sexier with her hair back... She was pissed! Apparently that's a insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient."
"I bought some hard cider yesterday... but I'm still waiting for it to melt."
"My 8 year old son wrote this... What do you call the ghost of a chicken that haunts people in their homes? A poultry-geist."