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Joke of the Day

"Where do you find a no-legged dog? Right where you left him."

"Ok children, what sounds did we hear on our field trip to the farm yesterday?...""Moo!"" ""Bahhh!"" ""Quack Quack""...""Get the Fuk off that tractor!!!"""

"What do you call a person with no arms and no legs? Fucked."

"I love spending time with girls.. its unfortunate i have to do it from a bush with binoculars"

"Did you hear about the guy who swam the English Channel with no arms or legs? They call him... *'clever dick!'*"

"Why is it expensive to be a criminal? Because the police charge you."

"What do you get when you cross a Classical German composer with an erupting volcano? Baklava. (It came to me in a dream last night. I dunno man..)"

"How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven? Jesus said to him ""Behold! I am risen!"" and he said ""That's nice I don't bereave you."""

"Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo."

"Why should you wear a condom when writing C++ code? It's full of std vectors."