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Joke of the Day

"Why is it expensive to be a criminal? Because the police charge you."

"Why did the crew abandon the chili pepper boat? It was capsaicin. ^(Don't hurt me.)"

"Did you hear Donald Trump wants to ban pre-shredded cheese? Apparently a bunch of immigrants work in the Kraft factory."

"What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer."

"I've never had personalized license plates, but don't worry, I still know how to waste most of my discretionary income."

"Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap. Filthy bastards."

"Do you know why turds are tapered? So your butt hole doesn't slam shut."

"Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest they said ""Sorry no professionals."""

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotopus."

"How are Chile mining companies and catholic priests different? Chile mining companies get their minors stuck in shafts while catholic priests get their shafts stuck in minors"