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Joke of the Day

"How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven? Jesus said to him ""Behold! I am risen!"" and he said ""That's nice I don't bereave you."""

"Sometimes I put my head between my legs and fall forward. Thats how I roll."

"I used to have a 2 year old son, he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died... For inspiration"

"The next person to show me that dress... ...is gonna get a white and gold eye."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You don't know?"

"My wife caught me looking at a seagull at the beach so now we're in this big fight."

"So this Roman guy... This Roman guy walks into a Tavern, raises two fingers and yells, 'five beers please!'"

"""Why don't Mr. and Mrs. Smokey the Bear have any children?"" ""I give up, why?"" ""Because every time Mrs. Bear gets hot Mr. Bear throws dirt on her and beats her with a shovel."""

"Whats the difference between tuna, a piano and glue? You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna."

"If you ever feel like you are worthless, just remember... You were once the fastest sperm."