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Joke of the Day

"How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven? Jesus said to him ""Behold! I am risen!"" and he said ""That's nice I don't bereave you."""

"ME: Excuse me...Where's the rowing boat equipment? EMPLOYEE: Keep going down there, Oar Aisle. ME: EMPLOYEE: ME: EMPLOYEE: ME: Or you'll what?"

"Why did Bill Murray's cameo have a sore back? It had to carry the new Ghostbusters movie for almost two hours."

"What did the tomato say to the mushroom? ""You're a fun guy"""

"Why did Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? So she could moan with the other."

"Fun fact: The average Canadian swallows eight moose per year in their sleep."

"I like my women how I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer"

"What do you call someone who stole home plate? A rapist."

"Why are there no stray dogs in China? Have you heard of stray chickens?"

"*bullies advance* STOP! Im a black belt in Shaq Fu! <laughter> *detectives arrive* Jesus, were these heads slam-dunked? Where r the bodies?"