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Joke of the Day

"How do you know a introvert likes you... He stares at your shoes instead of his."

"Just saw one of those giant centipedes run though my living room so now I'm gunna sleep with a flamethrower and a full metal jacket."

"how to be a good DJ? press ""PLAY"" and don't touch anything ever again"

"How Are Women And Rocks Alike? You Skip The Flat Ones."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, its not going to come anyways"

"You know your getting old when you drop something on the floor and instead picking it right back up, you just stare at it for a min or two..."

"Then there was the guy who fell into a vat of molten optical glass after drinking too much. Just two glasses, and look what a spectacle he made of himself."

"Why do first year film students like analyzing porn? It's easy to identify the climax."

"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are together in a lifeboat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. No land in sight. No ships in sight. Who survives? The American people."

"Coconut oil on my dry skin this winter has made me attractive to women. Problem is the chocolate from the Mounds bars is ruining my clothes."