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Joke of the Day

"Time to buy a new car, a bigger TV, a better cell phone and a faster laptop so I'll finally be happy! (Repeat over and over until you die)"

"Boxed In There was a young girl from Peru Who filled her vagina with glue. She said with a grin, ""If they pay to get in, They'll pay to get out of it, too."""

"The worst thing about Hillary Clinton is she can't dicks out for Harambe even if she wanted to. Even Michelle can do that."

"Her: Sir, you account has been hacked. Me: Twitter? Her: No. Your Bank acc. Me: Ooooh Thank God."

"My brother thought his vasectomy ... would keep his wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changed the color of the baby."

"So she texts: Do you want to see something exiting? Me: Yes, of course! Anddd she left the chat."

"So I got rid of my gym membership... just didn't work out "

"My wife got a seashell tattoo on her thigh. When you put your ear on it you can smell the ocean."

"If I were to redesign the alphabet I would place D as the 8th letter. ... just so that 8 == D."

"Did you hear about angle 57.29 He's rad"