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Joke of the Day

"My brother thought his vasectomy ... would keep his wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changed the color of the baby."

"Why doesn't Santa hitch his sleigh to a pig? Pigs don't have red noses."

"My IQ test results just came in and I'm really relieved. Thank God it's negative."

"I like my women how I like my coffee... Cheap, and from a third world country"

"In an alternate universe, humans with an extra cromossome are gods, each responsible for a physical property. It has been this way since the Down of time."

"Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken."

"PEDIATRICIAN: This could sting a little. KID: Okay. PEDIATRICIAN: One day the sun will envelope the earth and we will all turn to dust."

"Yo mama's so fat... ...when she died, she had to be preserved in formalda-wide. She then had to be whipped creamated. If she wasn't, they would have had to given her an open-graveyard funeral."

"What does a data scientist do after an heavy lunch? A pie shart."

"Why couldn't the American leave Russia? He was snowden"