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Joke of the Day

"It's fine when Santa does it, but when I see you when you're sleeping & know when you're awake it's ""creepy"" and ""sir, you're under arrest"""

Next Joke
 
"somebody sell me a flock of sheep so i can give them cool superhero names like bahman, the green lambtern and wonder woolman"
"Are you a psychic porn star? Because you're blowing my mind"
"Some people call it anal bleaching, but I prefer to call it changing my ring tone."
"What do you call a dark or melancholy verse of text? Poe-etry"
"Guys, P Diddy now wants to be referred to as ""Skiddle Biddle Bo Bee Bop."""
"These e-cigarettes keep getting bigger and bigger. I swear I just saw someone smoking a clarinet."
"I rely too much on Outlook. My calendar has ""leave work"" at 6, ""brush teeth"" tonight at 11, and a ""blink"" alert recurring every 2.5 seconds."
"Dr. King Schultz wins the Oscar.. The white man profiting yet again at the expense of the black man."
"Hahahahah Wife: ""What are you doing?"" Husband : Nothing. Wife : ""Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."" Husband : ""I was looking for the expiration date."""