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Joke of the Day
"My wife... It's difficult to say what she does... She sells seashells on the seashore."
Next Joke
"""Who's on first?"" ""David."" ""Cool."" -Abbott and Costello's first draft"
"""I'd tap that."" ~tap dancer, about a song he really likes"
"What are calories? Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night"
"What they're actually saying is ""I can't even [finish this sentence due to the complexities of being a white girl on the existential level]"""
"The bartender fainted."
"priest: ""does anyone here know why these two should not be wed?"" me: ""SHE LEAVES THE VOLUME ON ODD NUMBERS"" priest: [slowly closes bible]"
"Why do people in France have to eat frog legs that ""taste like chicken""? If they eat real chicken they'll be arrested for cannibalism. Edit: grammar"
"What did the Irishman text his Wife? ""Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."""
"What do you call spiders in the Middle East? Iraqnids. Yep. An original."