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Joke of the Day

"What did the Irishman text his Wife? ""Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."""

"Not having a date on Valentine's Day doesn't really worry me... It's those 364 other date-less days that are causing me a bit of concern."

"An unemployed engineer gets lost while going to a job interview at the navy base Woops, wrong sub."

"Clinton is so crooked... She needs a Kaine for support. (Credit to: /u/medically)"

"What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old? A two-year-old vampire."

"The U.S. will soon have the first first lady that was not born in the U.S. Vladimir Putin"

"Some say cheetahs are the fastest animal at 60 mph. Not true. Dogs have been clocked at 18,000 mph when the Soviets launched one into space."

"I had to change my GPS's voice from female to male because the female GPS told me to pull over and ask for directions."

"Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it."

"What do you call a Mexican that's in the rebellion? A Rogue Juan"