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Joke of the Day

"God created man... and He used your face as a rough draft...."

"Sometimes I picture my wedding and other times I take off one pant leg stare into nothing for 15 minutes then take off the other leg"

"Some people have 32 teeth while others have 10... It's simple meth."

"Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they will never meet."

"If I end up on life support, feel free to pull the plug.. However, if I'm charging my phone, stay the hell away from the outlet."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. I don't know what they did up there, but they came back with a daughter."

"Max wondered why the ball was slowing growing larger.... and then it hit him."

"What's a reindeer's favourite celebrity? Beyonsleigh"

"My brother's got a degree in wheel-making. Only 359 more to go."

"What's the difference between golf and sky-diving? In golf, it's ""*whack*... Fuck!"" And in sky-diving, it's ""Fuck!... *whack*""."