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Joke of the Day

"If I end up on life support, feel free to pull the plug.. However, if I'm charging my phone, stay the hell away from the outlet."

"What did the deaf, blind dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer."

"Blind dates are the best because they can't see me stealing all of the food from their plate"

"Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia? The airport is Snowden"

"What did Tennessee? The same thing that Arkansas"

"Four years ago I asked out the girl of my dreams, today I asked her to marry me She said no both times"

"Whats a vegetables favorite Bee Gee song? Chive Talkin'"

"Box wine? I prefer the term Cardboardeaux."

"The anchorwoman on the local news just reported that Davy Jones from the Monkees has died At first I didn't believe it. But then I saw her face."

"what does past, present, and future have in common? ...... tense"