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Joke of the Day

"TIL that the FDA has recommended a permanent ban on all shredded cheeses be put in place immediately. It's part of an official federal plan to make America grate again."

"I love watching kids running in the park... They have no idea I'm shooting blanks"

"How many perverts does it take to insert a light bulb? Only one; However, it takes an entire emergency ward to get it back out again."

"'Hardys, Bitter, Fosters, Strongbow' Daft Punk ordering a round at the bar"

"How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub? They both have rings!"

"Whenever I'm feeling I'm getting soft I log in to Facebook to rekindle my hate for humanity."

"Friend told me this one today. Fed Ex and UPS Did you hear Fed-Ex and UPS joined together and made a conglomerate?They called it fed up."

"What's the best thing about having sex with twenty five year olds? There are twenty of them."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was drinking his coffee before it was cool."

"How do you split $6 between 5 mexicans? You cut *Juan* out."