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Joke of the Day

"Just got a tattoo of my wife so when she pisses me off I can stab myself in the arm and watch that b%tch bleed."

"I think one of my dads might be gay..."

"At an Irish wedding, someone said, ""Would all the married men stand next to the one person that has made your life worth living?"" The bartender was almost crushed to death."

"Lol at birds that walk places."

"*eats half a pan of brownies while making salad for dinner*"

"What is wonder woman's favorite drug? Heroine."

"Don't ever do that again knock know who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? .... You said you'd never forget"

"Did you hear about the gay Russian knight? His name was Sergei."

"The Bermuda Triangle A.K.A.... Clinton's Inbox"

"Cool story bro, needs more dragons and shit - how Game of Thrones started, probably."