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Joke of the Day

"Why do bird watchers invest so much money in breast cancer awareness? Because they are greatly satisfied by seeing Tucans."

"I just had a meeting with John It was stressful and hes full of shit."

"Lincoln cars can't turn left. They're all right, all right, all riiiggghhht"

"What do you do about a bird that shits in your car? Never ask her out again."

"I've lost all ability to feel... I'm numb.... I'm starting to slip away... I look forward to the empty, meaningless void Now pull the damn tooth, Doctor"

"What should you call someone with a different color of skin than your own? A hue man."

"What do you call 2 Chainz when he gets fat? 2 Chinz"

"if one member of the motorcycle gang has to pee do they all stop or does he just have to catch back up?"

"Little Monster: I hate my teacher. Mother Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear!"

"Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space? Because no one on earth wants to buy it."