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Joke of the Day

"(NSWF) Why did Micheal Jackson go to JC Penny? He heard little boys pants were 50% off..."

"What do you call an unpredictable, out-of-control photographer? A loose Canon."

"My underwear is spoiled."

"""I'd UberBlack for you."" - what I assume a pick up line in 2016 sounds like"

"What do you get when you mix up literature and alcohol? Tequila mockingbird Or Ernest Hemingway"

"The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan."

"Did you hear about the patch of fog that entered the spelling bee? It wasn't very good but they gave it a precipitation medal."

"Why don't bats sleep outside? You ever deal with a sunburned asshole?"

"If you die in a plane crash, you also die in real life. That's just what I heard."

"If you run in front of a car, you get tired. If you run behind a car, you get exhausted."