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Joke of the Day

"The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan."

"How Did Norse Marsupials Write Their Sagas? In Kangarunes."

"What did the host say after her guest complimented her on her tea? Thanks, it's my special tea."

"Why did cavemen pull their women around by their hair? Because if they had pulled them by their feet they would have filled up with mud"

"My Grandfathers dying words to me were, ""Are you still holding the ladder?""."

"What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed? Sleep on the sofa."

"Q: Why does a farmer look out of his window in the morning? A: Because he can't see through the wall."

"ladies, call me a badly designed excel spreadsheet because my D column is unnecessarily large"

"Why did they call it The Iron Curtain? They were going to call it the Fe line, but that seemed too catty."

"A blind dude walks into a bar. Ouch."