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Joke of the Day

"Fun prank: brand your boss with the mark of the beast so he becomes a mindless demon slave wandering the earth killing in the name of Satan"

"People go to the bar hoping for two things...to get hammered or to get nailed."

"I seriously hate it when a couple starts having an argument in front of you. They could have least waited until I got dressed and left."

"Mitt Romney says that people who are voting for Barack Obama don't work and don't pay taxes. I guess that means Romney is voting for Obama."

"Why do ducks try to avoid eating out? They're always stuck with a bill."

"A hooker has sex with a leper... he said ""keep the tip."""

"What month was King Kong born in? Ape-ril"

"You're like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts."

"My girlfriend wanted 8 inches.... So I fucked her twice"

"doctor: you know how to measure your bowel movements me: yeah of course doctor: you weigh yourself before and after me: [15 Sec pause] yeah"