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Joke of the Day
"I put my pants on just like everyone else in your mom's bedroom in the morning"
Next Joke
"I made a joke about candy today... ... it made me snicker"
"I'm tired and want to sleep, but I can't stop imagining how the whole scenario of the first person to pee on a jellyfish sting went down"
"Me: *doing magic trick* Is THIS your card? Guy: They're all my cards, give me my wallet back."
"What do you call the mercury mine? Hg wells"
"Deactivated my FB. Before the final ""submit"", they show you pictures of ""friends"" that says ""These people will miss you"". Best laugh ever."
"It's a 10 minute walk from my house to the bar. It is a 2 hour walk from the bar back to my house. It's so weird."
"I have a Pakistani girl friend. Last night she said that she wanted to blow me. Now I wasn't sure if I should lower my pants or call the cops."
"I met a man whose feet were always asleep. I guess you could say he was comatoes."
"your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath."